♥lly goes mad

Tell you about it. How bad is my mood right now. Wait. Isn’t it the first day of Lunar New Year? I have a little less than 30 minutes.

It is complicated and inexplicable. ‘It’ refers to my current mood.

I had so much fun from Thursday all the way to Sunday. Shopping, drinking, shi-shaing and stuff. Extreme socialisation.

There are two reasons why I hate clubbing/drinking/anything that make you high.

1. Screwed up stomach.

2. Sudden drop in endorphin and surge in serotonin. 

The latter one, I can hardly handle it. I have so much to write but I just cannot organise my thought and how much I hate this.

I am just sick of me being suck in dealing social relationship with people and avoid it like a loser. Why am I so choosy.

Another issue. People judging me and they make me to recognise that.

I have strong definition of friend. At least for my friends that I concern.

Anyway, I cannot tolerate when people that I used to regard as friends shows some sort of judgmental action towards me. cause I do not judge them. As long as you are defined to be my friend. (It can be mutual or one-sided.)

My primary/secondary school friends often judge me by looking at all the photos and stuff that I upload on facebook. They cannot take me as old-olly and who I used to be good 6 years ago. I have changed. (Strongly admitting.) You have no idea what I have been through and how life in Singapore reshaped me. They cannot expect me to stay same, can they? Do I have to explain this so that they will stop judging me and leaving disturbing comment like “you turned into gangster in Singapore”. Like totally WTF. And strongly wish, they will never chase me to tumblr. I have no where to hide now. You’ve got my Cyworld, Facebook and now Tumblr. No way that you are gonna conquer my last terrain.

I do have notebook to mourn over such issues but oh well. At least, people who read this would at least empathise with me and you know. I roughly know who might read this post :) Do not worry, you are totally loved by me. 

People that I miss so much are geographically so detached from me. Thanks to internet, we still do some e-comforting but still I need nice hug and shoulder pat.

Everything is going to be alright. I do not want to trouble myself anymore too. Mark Zukerberg, you seriously owe us all these issues. Ugh.

I want to do something fun and interesting since I’ve lost one tutee. He is leaving Singapore how sad.

In conclusion, I am misfit in Singapore. At least now for this very moment. I need to go anywhere but here. Dear god, save me.

OMG SO MY 2011 GOES LIKE THIS. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

(Source: ohmyandy, via missredaholic)

Wow. It is already D-2. Adios to 2011. This year would be one of the most unfruitful year of my life in terms of many things. However, I’ve grown up mentally and emotionally in 2011 after learning stuff in hard ways. Accepting, rejecting, ditching, leaving and choosing. I met many new people in my life, not that they will all stay new in next year. I am kinda eager to make 2012 better than 2011. Like seriously. I had the best plan of all the years in 2011 but achievements wise, it is more than disappointing. All those plans that I looked forward so much died off along the way and I did not care much about it. To summarise 2011, it was NTU and Tuition. How sucky is this. EWWWW. Though, I am financially very happy.

My sister is going to fly off on next Tuesday. And I guess we cried silently yesterday night when we were about to sleep. My sister started to sob and I followed. This crying thing is always contagious. I will cry when my sister cry whatever the reason is. Looking at her crying make me feel so freaking sad that I want to pluck my eyes off. Next Tuesday will be disastrous. I am gonna cry hell out of me until I reach home and realise she is not in my room anymore, there is no one to wait for me at Spinelli and Coffee bean after all my tuitions at different places (The best thing she has done for me. I’ve never felt stressed going for tuition ever since she tagged along. ugh.) and foot massage too. She has become my habit after spending 24hours of a day together for last full month. I will take probably few days to get used to my single life which I am good at, but still thinking about Tuesday, hurts me so bad that I do not want to think about.

But on the bright side, I can meet all my friend who I have been denying to meet due to the presence of my sister in Singapore hahahha. And after few sips of breathe, school will start. FFFFFFF. Anyway, I have to admit that I kinda missxschool oops. :x

Today, I will go China Town to enjoy lighting!

Tomorrow, Going Clarke Quay at night for countdown!

Sunday, Going Church for new year resolution and MBS. (such an opportunitist.)

Monday, Sentosa Siloso Beach! :D